letting go of people with my planner

“Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is by far the best ending for one.” -Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

Every year at around this time, I buy a new planner and set it up for the coming year. At first, I was using blank notebooks or undated planners, so it was time consuming and a bit tedious. Nowadays, I buy dated planners. But one thing has stayed the same every year: I transfer friends’ birthdays over to the new planner.

Technically, it is a simple thing. Flip to January on both planners, and write in people’s birthdays on the new one. Rinse and repeat.

But sometimes when I do this, I find myself just staring at their name.

If the last time we talked was when I told them happy birthday last year, are we friends? If they said “it was nice to hear your voice again” but then never said anything to me again?

Sometimes I wonder if I should have reached out to them. Perhaps it is partially on me that our relationship turned out this way.

October 5th was the birthday of a friend I used to know. On that day, I saw that it was their birthday on my planner, wished in my heart that they have a nice day today, and went on with my day.

I’m not writing their birthday in my new planner, but I know I will still think of them every now and then.